Recently in IT Humor Category

Dilbert on BSM

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The recent Dilbert strip might be too close to reality for many IT shops that have difficulty in justifying their IT management initiatives in a way that has any meaning or relevance to their business counterparts.   Given the highly reactive nature of many IT organizations, the tendency to put "lipstick on the pig" is pervasive and unfortunate.  Moving to more predictive and proactive BSM activites would be a worthwhile alternative ...to say the least. 

The answer to this self-posed question is given in Dr. David Farrar's 2/27/2009 Amazon review of Larry Klosterboer's book Implementing ITIL Change and Release Management:

For starters, many of my clients are IT and information systems specialists. Most are going through pain, change and challenges related to keeping up with the rapidly shifting demands of their customers, the adoption of new technology, and of course, the economy.

I wonder whether I should laugh or cry...

Not Exactly Lean IT

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A survey of UK workers reveals that IT folk are the least fit of all job positions.  Nice.  And that's in the UK, so you can imagine what the stats are like for the US - in states like Texas, for example!

In the interest of "science," we decided to take a close look at the daily menu of your average service-desk employee in a Fortune-100 company. Here's what we discovered [results may vary depending on geographic location]:

7 am:
- Tacquitos with eggs and cheese (2)
- Bagel with cream cheese
- Bag of donut holes (small)
- Starbucks Iced-Frappuccino

8 am:
- Dr. Pepper (to stay awake during first meeting of the day)

9 am:
- Blueberry muffin (2-3) with butter

11 am:
- Dr. Pepper (to stay awake during second meeting of the day)

12 am (working though lunch):
- popcorn (because it is free, and it makes the boss feel guilty as he step out to lunch at the steak house down the street)
- Starbucks Iced-Frappuccino

1 pm:
- chocolate chip cookies (because they were just sitting there)

2 pm:
- Smoothie break at Smoothie-King

3 pm:
- lunch at an all-you-can-eat buffet (typically fried seafood, fried Tex Mex, or fried Chinese)

5 pm:
- Dr. Pepper (to stay awake during fifth meeting of the day)

6 pm (the drive home):
- Starbucks Iced-Frappuccino

8 pm (hanging out with nerds at the Pig'n'Whistle):
-  fried anything
- Dr. Pepper

10 pm (back home watching TV):
- bowl of pista-pistachio ice cream
- Dr. Pepper

[repeat next day]

Not exactly conducive to lean IT, is it?  Maybe they need to include dietary guidelines in ITIL v4!

Malcolm Fry does a nice job with his parable of the “Keeper of the Forms.” It starts off a bit slowly, but really picks up around the 3:40 mark. And, as usual, with everything Malcolm says, there’s a real lesson to be learned for IT:

Reminds us of Peter McGarahan’s post just a few hours ago, doesn’t it? >>

More from Malcolm: How to Improve Productivity by 40%

You may recognize these hardworking IT celebrities:

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You call that service!?

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With all the talk on here and in IT about service, I thought I would share a few thoughts on what service actually means. I love Ken's post on surrounding the employee with services, and it brought to mind what has been happening to us at home this week.

On Monday just as the cable engineer arrived here to fix our TV - transpired all it needed was a new card in the cable box - our 'phone, which is from the same cable company, died. I asked the engineer to look at it and he, of course, replied that he does TVs, not 'phones.

Fortunately, dear reader, I managed to restrain myself from throttling him on the spot and decided to report the problem. Now, this is normally done by picking up the 'phone and dialling 150, a call which starts with the "this call is absolutely free" message. Using the 'phone is, of course, somewhat tricky if the 'phone is broken. So I climbed on the internet, fortunately still working, and found a number to call. It was, unsurprisingly, an 0845 number, which means that you are going to pay (heavily) for the call. Strangely enough, the call did not start with the message "you are about to be ripped off for calling us to report a problem, which is our fault", but I managed eventually to get a person on the other end of the 'phone.

The person I was talking to was in one of our far-flung former outposts, and we had the usual problems understanding one another as I speak English, and she spoke some strange argot. Still, not as bad as the call I once had, which started with the person the other end saying in a broad Asian accent "Hi, my name is Chuck". No it isn't, so why start a service call with a blatant lie - are you setting me up for the almost inevitable ensuing bitter disappointment?

Anyway, I digress. She couldn't find anything wrong with their system, asked why the engineer I had just had did not fix it (answer unprintable) and agreed to send out a 'phone engineer. The earliest date they could offer? NEXT SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!! You, of course, have no choice, so you agree to this ridiculous offer.

Last night our 'phone rang. It has sprung back into life all by itself, so I called today to cancel the engineer. When I get through, I am told that they had cancelled him already as it was a regional fault and they had fixed it. WHY THE BLOODY HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THEN???

If you can't work out what was wrong with their service and how to improve it, I suggest you send me an email and I will give you a few pointers!!!!
 

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